Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Another boy?

It is still so early, but we found out last week that we will be having another boy!  The OB sent me to the genetic counselor and he did a detailed scan at 14w3d last Thursday.  The good news is that the baby looks normal and all the organs and body parts are developing well.  They could even tell the gender with this scan.  DH was a little surprised, he was hoping for a girl and was not very skillful at hiding his disappointment.  I thought I would feel happier, but I feel a little down about his disappointment.  Perhaps it is because our first baby was a girl, and he wanted her back.  Also, it is not so likely that we will try for a 3rd, for several reasons, mainly financial, so maybe Lily was our one and only chance at a girl, and that is sad to revisit.  It didn't help that the genetic counselor was the same guy we went to see for Lily's diagnosis, which ended in a termination, and that is the last we have seen of him until now.  I felt sad and weird seeing him again.  He remembered us, but of course did not remember the details of our case.  He was happy to hear that we went on to have a healthy child, and this one seems healthy too.  He also was kind enough to offer us the Harmony test, and he filled in the form in such a way that we would be accepted by the provincial health insurance (normally with an egg donor it should not be, and would be another $700 out of pocket) and so I was able to get that done the following day, once the approval went through.  I am still waiting for those results and the results of my triple screen test (which I finally was able to do part 2 for just today, at 15 weeks).  It will be another 1-2 weeks for the results.  It is such a horribly long time to be in limbo, already into the second trimester and not ready to announce, still!  I feel like I should just tell my mom this weekend, even without those results.  All the other indicators are looking good, so I will be totally shocked if the blood test comes back bad, and even if it does, my mom has already been supportive through that news once.  I'm definitely not ready to announce to work yet, and it is getting difficult since my middle is thickening up.  If I lean a certain way I look quite pregnant, so I have to stand carefully at work now, to minimize the little bump.  I'm still wearing my regular clothes, though, just the waistband is getting really tight. 
One reason I was hoping for a boy was that I thought that a boy would not care as much as a girl would about being donor conceived.  Of course, I have no idea if this is actually true.  And I thought Joseph would like a same-gendered sibling.  And we can reuse all the clothes we have been storing, instead of dumping them off at Goodwill!  However, I feel sad that I won't get to buy the cute pink girl things.  BUT on the other hand, I remember when I found out Joseph was a boy I thought oh well, it won't be so much fun dressing him, but in reality there are such cute things for boys!  And I love Joseph so much, I hope having 2 boys is just as amazing.  The key thing is that the baby is healthy, though, of course.  I never really cared about the gender, but I have to say I was concerned that DH was unhappy to not have a girl.  He assures me he is thrilled with having another boy, though, I guess it is one of those things where he really had a hunch it was a girl and was shocked that his hunch was wrong! 
So another 2 week wait to get the blood test results.  I hate 2 week waits!!  Work is really busy, though, so I am fully distracted. 
Joseph is doing great.  He had his 2 year check up, and I guess his birthday party since I last wrote (it has been a while!).  We just had a party at home and some of his little friends came by.  He loved the balloons, the cake, blowing out the candles, and singing "Happy Birthday!"  He kept singing it for days afterwards, too.  He is healthy and happy, so what more can we ask for?  He is talking a lot, and loves to sing.  He loves his trains, and to climb, and run.  He doesn't eat as well as we would like, but we keep offering things.  He likes to fill up on milk, so that is interfering with his eating, but it is such a hard habit to break!  He's getting more demanding, too, and gets angry when he doesn't get his way.  Like when we want him to stop playing and come to dinner, he gets pretty mad, and that happens every day!  He fights diaper changes sometimes, too, but is not so interested in using the potty yet.  We have not fully embarked on the mission of potty training yet, but we have the equipment ready.  He's doing great at his daycare now, and has a good routine going there.  We told Joseph his little brother is on the way, in Mommy's tummy, and he was at one of the ultrasound appointments and saw the baby on the screen.  He even pointed at the screen and said "baby!".  I wonder how much a 2 year old can really understand, though?  He is learning language so quickly right now, so although he is young, I am completely in awe of what he is able to figure out. 

That's my update for now, I will keep you posted!  Hope you are all doing well! 


  1. SO EXCITING! I know there is a lot of conflicted feelings about the sex of second siblings, especially after losing a child (that you know the gender of). A friend of mine (IRL) lost a daughter and then had a son. She is currently pregnant with another boy. Though she is happy to have a same-sex sibling, she is mourning the daughter she will never get to actively parent. It is so hard, she really just wants a healthy, living child but would have liked a girl too. You're both normal!

  2. So happy baby boy is healthy and growing as he should! I'm sure that more of the disappointment comes from the realization that DH may never have a living daughter and that would be hard. I think most parents would like one of each gender just to experience all the fun each one brings. But I think having two boys will be so much fun!! They can grow and be great friends!

  3. Yay for two little boys! I love being able to say "my boys." BUT, as you know I lost a boy, and I desperately wanted my rainbow to be a boy. I can understand how complicated and hard it would be to realize you may never be a mom to a girl after losing Lily.

  4. I was a little sad to learn that we will never have a little girl either. But it is most important that they are healthy. We opted not to do the Harmony test because we did PGS on our embryos. Also there is a high rate for false readings. Hoping yours comes back clear and the 2ww flies by for you.