Thursday, 31 July 2014

Day 3 report

I got a call saying that of my 10 embryos, 7 are still growing and look like they will make it to blast.  So I am on standby for a day 5 transfer on Saturday, or hopefully they will be able to do the biopsy and then a Day 6 transfer on Sunday when they have the PGS results.  I'm still kind of contemplating whether to transfer 1 or 2 embryos.  2 gives better chances, but we really don't want twins or the complications that may occur with twins.  I don't want a BFN either.  Sometimes I feel like I'm choosing just between those two, twins or no baby!

I emailed the donor the day after the retrieval to ask how she was feeling.  She wrote back today saying now she feels ok, but she had felt pretty bloated after the procedure.  She said the meds worked well during the procedure and she didn't feel anything.  That is good.  Also, she thought the nurses were really nice.  She wants to become a nurse and is continuing her studies in the fall to get her nursing qualifications.  Maybe she will become a fertility centre nurse?  I'm glad that she is doing well and it all went fine. 

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Retrieval and Fertilization Report

The retrieval was yesterday, so we went in so DH could give his sperm sample, and also I needed to get more Estrogen patches since the doctor increased my dose to 3 patches every 2 days.  He went his way to do his thing, and apparently the donor nurse told him that our donor was in the IVF suite and we could go see her if we wanted.  He seemed happy about this, since he had never met her at our other meeting, that had to be rescheduled twice.  So we went in and saw her in her gown and little funny cap, ready for the retrieval. He got to thank her in person, and we wished her well for the procedure.  She said she was feeling fine.  Her sister was also there with her, and the two of them were in pretty good spirits.  I guess they had stayed in town overnight at a hotel.  They said they were having a good summer.  They liked seeing Joseph again, and he was all smiles and coos for them.  I felt like I should have had some sort of gift or flowers or something, but it was so last minute, we didn't actually know we would see her that day, and also you probably can't take flowers into the procedure area anyway.  They have a "no fragrance" policy so that probably includes flowers. 

We never found out how it went until the next day (today) when the nurse phoned with the report.
Apparently they retrieved 17 eggs (yippee!), 10 of which were mature, and all 10 fertilized with ICSI.  We will go ahead with PGS on Day 5 and transfer on Day 6, which is August 3rd.  So pretty good news!  Hope the 10 embryos stay strong for the next week until transfer!

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Donor triggered

Just got an email that the donor triggered today, so the retrieval will be on Monday, July 28th, and the transfer the following Sunday, August 3rd.  We have decided to do PGS, so it will be a Day 6 transfer.  I have no idea how many follicles she has, I asked the nurse but I'm half expecting that she will reply that she doesn't know.  When we went in the doctor said the retrieval would be on the 29th or the 30th, so I hope everything is ok because now the retrieval is on the 28th.  Is that a good thing?  DH and I started our Doxycyline today, and I start Progesterone on Monday.  I am doing the suppositories.  The last time when I did Progesterone in Oil injections for 3 full months and they were super painful, got to the "end" of the injections and ended up terminating the pregnancy for medical reasons 2 weeks later anyway, so I never, ever want to do those injections again because I know it would bring me back to that horrific time in my life.  The suppositories are messy, but who cares.  I used them for Joseph and it was totally fine.  DH has to go in Monday morning to provide his "sample".  Wow, I can't believe this is starting to move along really fast! 

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Lining check

After 10 days of no new information, we went in for my lining check.  The pessimist in me was bracing for the worst.  What was happening with the donor?  I haven't heard a peep from her, has she actually been following through and doing all the things that she needs to do?  Is no news really good news, or does it mean they forgot to call and inform us of any bad news? 

Well, it seems all is going well and the donor is "responding really well", she has within the target range of follicles (10-20), and also my lining is looking beautiful at 11mm right now.  She said to continue with the Estrogen patches.  Also my TSH is in good shape at 1.6, so continue on the same dose of Synthroid (0.075mg).  I'm also on Baby Aspirin and Prenatals.  The retrieval will be July 29 or 30 and the transfer Aug 4 or 5.  I think we will do the PGS, but I seem to change my mind about this daily.  The doctor did not remember the details about exactly how many follicles, etc. the donor had, which is annoying, but I was glad to hear that she was feeling positive about the cycle.  Even though I am doing a known cycle, they are still operating like an anonymous one, so the donor's file is nowhere to be seen when I go in, and since the doctor has so many patients she can't remember the specifics offhand.  I just hope what she "remembers" is really about my donor, and not someone else's! 

I am really glad to hear that the donor is already half way done the cycle, just one more week and then it is the retrieval, ending her involvement in this project.  I really don't want to jinx things since the doctor seems so excited and positive, so I won't try to get more details out of the donor at this point, unless she contacts me.  Does it really matter if there are 12 follicles or 18?  Or 23?  It's not like I can do anything about it, in any case.  I do plan to continue contact with her, but I figure there is no real point unless the cycle works, so I will wait and see if that happens.  I have already thanked her profusely for choosing to do this, for helping our family in this way.  If the cycle works I may have some more questions for her about her family, that the child may want to know about, though she has already told me quite a bit.  The problem is that I keep thinking of more questions!  At some point it has to stop.

We got our meds (Doxycyline and Progesterone) and the next time we go in is at the retrieval, next week!

In other news, we have returned home from the cottage.  I got in a fight with my mother about her cluttered kitchen that has no space to put anything, and her expired food that she does not want me to throw out.  We bought some food at the grocery store and there was literally no space to put it away, so I freaked out and started cleaning her kitchen.  The end result is that the kitchen is nice and clean, but she would not speak to me for 2 days.  DH wanted to go home after the first day, and if it weren't for my brother visiting, whom I only see once a year at best, I would have left too.  However, she cooled off and by day 3 she was back to normal, plus the kitchen stayed normal for the rest of the time there, almost 2 weeks.  I don't know if it is generational, but she has this weird thing about food that she buys too much of it, yet feels she can't "waste" it so will not throw out food until it is totally disgusting, meanwhile she keeps buying more food... it is ridiculous!  And I really resent that on my holiday I'm cleaning out someone else's fridge and cupboards, it is just so gross! 

I was so pissed, I took before and after photos of the kitchen.  Here it is, totally gross:

And here it is, after:

Going to visit my mom is always a lot of work.  She is too old to look after her place, so there is always a long list of chores to do to help her out, which can barely be accomplished in the time we spend there.  For example, her boat stand fell over in the wind, so my brother and husband had to rebuild it.

Also, she is trying to sell an adjacent piece of property and it has lots of scrap wood, metal, cinder blocks, etc. piled next to her shed, so they had to clean all that up and take 4 loads of junk to the dump.  Seriously!  Also, she had ordered a pile of rocks to build a rock wall, thinking that my nephew (who is 21) would want to work on that when he was here on holiday last year.  Needless to say, he did not agree that this would be a fun project, so the pile of rocks is still there, and no one has any interest in moving it.  The rocks are sitting on the property she is trying to sell, so I decided that this would be my project, to get rid of that crappy pile of rocks that is doing nothing to add value to the property for anyone coming to look at it.  I was actually pretty pleased with myself, I moved all the small rocks, and there were about 10 million of them, and left only the very big ones for either my brother or someone else to move later.  As tedious and probably pointless as moving a pile of rocks may seem, it actually became almost meditative and I think it really helped keep my mind from becoming overly worried about the donor egg cycle, which I really don't have any control over at this point, other than waiting for news.  Moving a pile of rocks is such a mindless yet satisfying task, difficult yet possible to accomplish with a bit of perseverance and a good pair of gloves.  Of course my mother was totally ambivalent about the fact that I moved her rocks, which she will not admit was a mistake to purchase in the first place.

Here is the pile at the beginning, where it has been sitting undisturbed for 2+ years:

After 2 days of lugging piles of rocks and throwing them on to the rock wall by the water:

After 4 days, this is as good as it will get at this point:

And here is the rock wall where the rocks went (barely visible):

My brother also cleaned out her garage, which was a big project.  He also took one of her really old boats to the dump, to finally get rid of it.  My husband worked a bit on some drywalling that needed completing in the loft of the garage.  This is not generally what you think of when you go to a cottage, but our cottage is more of a work camp and we have to make a serious effort to stop every once in a while and actually relax.  Joseph observed all of this, and was having fun joining in, moving tiny rocks and throwing them in the water, and playing with the frogs and newts that we found when moving the woodpiles, etc.  We also found a tiny garden snake. 

Here is Joseph with a frog:

The water warmed up and we were able to go in swimming. 

Plus my brother took us in the 'J-Craft' boat he rebuild, and we went around the lake and also did some waterskiing (his ultimate goal in rebuilding this boat).

  A moment to relax on the Muskoka chair and eat a cracker!

Having some fun riding Grandma's garden ornament!

And as it happens, our 10th wedding anniversary was also last week, on July 17th, so we went out to dinner with Joe to celebrate.  We had Thai food.  Joseph loved the noodles!
Well, that's the update.  We are back home now, to rest from our "holiday"!  Hoping for good news regarding the retrieval next week.  It's out of our hands, so all we can do is wait and hope. 

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

The bill has arrived

I got an email today with the bill from the clinic attached.  It is due tomorrow, when the donor starts her Lupron.  Not much notice, they could have told me this on Monday when I was at the clinic! 

What if I had not checked my email?  I am at the cottage right now and I had a weird feeling that I should pull out the computer and see if there was any news from the clinic, and there it was.  Otherwise, the doctor had said to come back in 7-10 days for my lining check. 

Hopefully they can take the payment over the phone because now I am out of town and that would be ridiculous to have to drive 3 hours to make a payment in person. 

Of course I do not delight in the idea of paying, but in one way it does make this seem more real, so I actually feel kind of reassured by receiving this bill.  I had even asked the doctor on Monday, "so, do I have to pay anything yet?" and she said she didn't know anything about the payments so don't worry about it for now.  Of course the next day they want the payment, after I have left!

The meds deposit is $4000 and the IVF fees are $11,200, due to the clinic this week.  This is on top of the $8000ish dollars already paid to the agency and a bit less than $2000 for the lawyer.  So I guess this cycle adds up to $25,000 so far. 

At least now I also know that the donor is starting Lupron tomorrow, and stims on July 18. 

Monday, 14 July 2014

Cycle Day 1

It's cycle day 1 and that means the long awaited donor egg cycle is starting.  I can't help but to feel some dread that something will go awry and the donor is off track, or won't show up, or whatever...  It didn't help that when we went into the clinic our doctor, who just got back from vacation, did not seem to know what was going on and said something like "oh, I guess the donor should be coming in sometime".  Shouldn't she know about this?  I guess the donor nurse coordinates the cycles and the doctor is not fully aware of the schedule?  I thought it was clearly written out somewhere, but I guess not.  Anyway, we will see what will happen.  I start Estrogen patches tomorrow, and I'm also taking baby aspirin and Synthroid, and that's it.  No Lupron?  I guess the doctor knows what she is doing... I hope!  No word from the donor.  Should I email her?  It's a weird situation since I have her contact information, but not sure if I should be bothering her.  She is nice enough, but I don't want her to feel like I'm hounding her.  It's all so strange.  I am just glad that nothing has really gone wrong yet, though plenty of things still could.  I go back into the clinic next week for a lining check. 

Thursday, 10 July 2014

18 months

Joseph is so active and talking a lot more.  He has so many words now!  I lost count after 60.  He has lots of "favourite things" now, too:  tractors, motorcycles, garbage trucks, birds, dogs, babies, books, shoes, anything with buttons to push, playing with balls, bubbles, going "out" (to the park), his bottle (milk).  He gets excited about these things.  What he does not like: sitting in his high chair to eat, going inside, having his diaper changed, ending playtime. 

At 18 months he is becoming such a fun little boy.  He gives more cuddles now too.  He calls out "Mummy!...  Mummy!" all the time (not sure if this is a good thing).  We love him so much!