Well, I finally did meet her today, along with her sister, who came with her on her trip into town. (DH was not able to come since he had to work.) My God, I have never been so nervous about meeting a new person, it was worse than a blind date! But I brought Joseph along with me, out of necessity since I had no one to watch him, but also it was a blessing to have him as a distraction because he kept the mood light. He was so good, too, because he just stared at the donor and her sister, both very attractive girls, and just cooed and smiled the whole time we were talking, which was 1.5 hours. He only got restless when it was about time to go anyway. They thought he was really cute. I found out more about her family, herself, and it ends up we studied at the same university (though obviously not at the same time) in the same program, studying languages (even though that was not clear on her original profile). She has decided to go back to school and go into nursing now, so more years of school ahead and thus probably part of the motivation to donate her eggs, to make a bit of money, though it is not huge. She is very altruistic as well, obviously, since even with compensation, donating your eggs is no picnic. I have been through 4 IVF retrievals myself, so I know what is involved.
So, I'm feeling fairly good that this egg donor cycle may actually happen in the near future, though I will never be certain until the retrieval has actually taken place. There is nothing for sure about relying on a stranger, no matter how nice they seem when you meet them for an hour, but I WANT to believe that it will all work out. Maybe the retrieval will happen at the end of July. I can't imagine it happening sooner, but it could be later. Or if this donor flakes out, which would be a very annoying possibility, after investing all this time and energy into getting to know her, etc., then I will have to find a new donor and it will be another 3-6 months until the retrieval, as the process has to start over.
I have not shared this with ANY of my friends/family, even one friend who used donor egg and would probably make sense to connect with. I do plan to share this, but not right now. I did actually mention to my mom a while back they we may use an egg donor, and got a pretty chilly response, so I have not bothered keeping her up to date with new developments in that regard. We will do it with her approval or not, and will let her know in the end, but don't really want to hear about whatever her issues are, as we are still grappling with our own at this point, anyway. Let's just say, if it all works out then we will tell everyone, and if it does not then why does anyone need to know, anyway? At this point, I don't feel like I owe anyone any explanations or updates about my fertility cycles that I am not ready to give. Plus, educating my entire circle of friends and family about donor eggs and all the complex issues involved, that they have probably never even considered, is not something I need to add to my plate right now. One friend in particular has been so persistent in asking me what I'm going to do next, after our cycle in March failed. I had to tell her to back off and in fact maybe we will just have the one child and I don't want to feel like a failure if that is what ends up happening. I could not take her constant wishes for my success, hoping and praying, etc. It sounds bad, but I just wanted her to leave me alone and mind her own business! She just does not get that after almost ten (yes, TEN!-- holy crap) years of TTC and never, ever once getting pregnant naturally, her hoping that it's going to "happen for us" on our own anytime soon is just more than I can freakin' stand. She totally does not get it, and I don't want to put up with any of her nonsense comments, or correct her, or tell her about our plans at the clinic. I think she was hurt by this, but now she does not bring it up anymore and it is SO much better! She can just talk to me about other things and treat me like a normal person.
In other news, we bought a playhouse for Joseph and set it up at my mom's place by the lake. It was great... until we were attacked by swarms of mosquitoes and had to RUN inside and hide from them for the rest of the weekend! Joseph got bitten on his face, and one eyelid swelled up from a bite (I took him to the doctor, but he is ok). We are back in the city now, safe from the bugs that apparently thrive in the fresh, country air! Maybe in a few weeks it will be safe to play in the house, once the early season bugginess has subsided!