Monday, 31 March 2014

Day 5 post retrieval

The doctor called this morning.  She said only one embryo was ready to biopsy today (1BB blastocyst), there was one that was a cavitating morula (early blast), and one was a morula that might be ready by tomorrow.  So we had the option of doing the biopsy on the one and transferring tomorrow if it tested normal, or freezing it and waiting for the results of the other ones, also freezing those, and transferring in another cycle.  Well, this was a bit of a dilemma, because of course I just want to do a transfer if possible and get on with it.  But she said that "studies" show that FET of PGS embryos actually have better success rates than fresh cycles, because the hormones are not messed up from doing the stims in the first part of the cycle.  On the other hand, from my own personal experience of doing PGS 2 times already, our fresh cycle resulted in Joseph, and the FET resulted in a BFN.  So that is the exact opposite of what the "studies" show.  Anyway, we decided to go along with her idea and we will freeze all this cycle.  I am praying there will be one normal one and we can do a FET next cycle.  I will be honest, I do have hope for that 1BB blastocyst.  I mean, if it were abnormal, why would it be growing so nicely?  But I have been surprised before, so who knows.  I am so dreading the wait until the results on Wednesday.  What if it is bad news?  I feel sick thinking about it.  And it reminds me so much of waiting for that phone call with Lily's CVS results.  I hate how one phone call can shatter all your hopes and dreams in one second.  I guess I should be glad that I still have a chance and I have made it this far, but I am worried because being close to succeeding means nothing. 
I am bummed that there will be no transfer this cycle.  I will find out on Wednesday if there will be a transfer at all.

1 comment:

  1. Your post brought back so many memories for that I didn't realize we're just under the surface. I'll say a prayer for you tonight that you have something to transfer.