Monday, 6 January 2014
One year old!!
Joseph is one year old today! I can't believe it! The year seemed to fly by. It has been an amazing time. Joseph has healed me in so many ways! I feel like I'm living a different life now, I was some other person before Joseph and I have to say I like who I am better now. We had a party for him yesterday. We wanted to make it informal and have an "open house" with people dropping in. There was a pretty strong turnout, and the house was crammed with nearly 40 people! (That is a LOT for this space) A few hours before the party, Joseph was walking across the room then fell on his face into the couch. It was pretty bad- when I say he fell into the couch it sounds like it would be all cushiony, but no, he fell against the hard structure at the base of the couch, and got a welt across his face. Poor Joseph! Right before all the guests and the pictures!
He was ok, though. Now, the next day, there is actually a little scab on his cheek. I hope he doesn't get a scar! I assume that babies heal up really well, but I put some polysporin on it to soften the scab.
He had his first taste of cake. The chocolate did a bit of a number on him, though. Of course, he is not used to sugar, so it made him hyper, then cranky, then tired... I don't think we'll be giving him any more chocolate any time soon! I had wanted to make him a banana cake, with cream cheese frosting, but DH poo-pooed that idea.
He is walking now! He started letting go of the furniture and walking on his own on Christmas Eve day. Since then he is able to walk on his own, but he walks very slowly and stiffly, like an old man. Just today he started walking faster, and he is even more prone to falling this way. He really loves walking, he is laughing to himself with glee as he goes across the room.
As for our sibling journey, we went in to the clinic and talked to the doctor. I started taking DHEA (75 mg/day) and this is supposed to improve my terrible egg quality over the next few months. It also lowers FSH, though I don't really know what my FSH is right now. I can only imagine it is bad. I will have all my bloodwork redone next month when I come in to get a refill on the DHEA (they only gave me a 1 month supply, but I need to take it for 3 months). It will be interesting to see what my bloodwork will reveal. I am hoping for the best, but I really don't know what we are dealing with. The worst case scenario is that I will be in too bad shape to do an IVF and I will have to decide to do donor egg. Like if my AMH is low (no eggs left) and FSH is high (peri-menopausal). Last time I had those tested they were not bad, but of course that is about 2 years ago now! I was 39, and now I am 41, so things could have taken a nosedive in the mean time. I feel normal and Ok, though. As in, I don't feel like I'm menopausal and having hot flashes or anything. BUT...I still don't have a cycle yet. I haven't seen AF since spring 2012! Well, that is not quite true... I had a lot of post partum bleeding, and then it stopped, then several weeks later I had another bleed which may have been AF... but then I started taking Domperidone to increase my milk supply, and that put a stop to my cycle. Although I stopped taking Domperidone in November, I still think it is to blame for my missing AF. However, I went to my acupuncturist to start back with the weekly fertility acupuncture, he said that it was totally normal to not have a cycle even a month after stopping BFing. He said if it has been 3 months, then he would start to be concerned. So I guess I won't worry about it yet. The RE was also dismissive of my missing AF. She said I would probably be getting it any time now.
So my current plan is: taking DHEA (75 mg), CoQ10 (600 mg/day), also Wheatgrass & Royal jelly (I don't bother with this every day, but we put it into smoothies a few times a week), acupuncture once a week, eating healthy (low glycemic index), exercising a few times a week - I just reactivated my gym membership and they have childcare at some of the locations, which I hope will work out ok), Vitamin D (1000mg). Also, my acupuncturist said I could take some herbs as long as I am not on fertility meds (but isn't DHEA a fertility med?), so I said, sure, why not just throw that in the mix too. So I just received those in the mail today. I have taken them before on other cycles between my IVFs and the herbs come as a ground up brown powder in little packets. You mix one packet in a mug with boiling water and it makes a kind of yucky tea. It actually doesn't taste too bad, as long as you don't have high expectations. So I have a month's supply of that (taking it 2 times a day), and it is supposed to "tonify" my blood and replenish my depleted systems. I can't say I am even sure what "tonify" means, but it is apparently one of the main goals of acupuncture and Chinese herbs. So after a few months of this regimen, I will try an IVF in about February or March. We'll see if it does any good. Actually, I'm interested in seeing my bloodwork next month, to see if there is any hope at all!
So when I first wrote this post (yesterday), the end got mysteriously erased... I'm going to rewrite it now, as far as I can remember... however I was writing that I was going to visit my friend, and I was worried because I didn't know how I would feel since she is pregnant with her second after NO EFFORT WHATSOEVER, and I am pretty pissed that I have to go through all this body prepping to get started on TTC, and she somehow got to skip all that, since she is super fertile, despite being 44 YEARS OLD! Anyway, I am now back from that visit, and surprisingly it actually went pretty well. Our sons are the same age (born 9 days apart), and we focused mainly on them, and did not talk about her pregnancy much. She is not really showing yet, anyway. She is at the stage where she just looks a bit fat, but not clearly pregnant. So it wasn't that hard to see her (emotionally, I mean) because she didn't really look pregnant, and so I didn't think about it that much. And we had plenty of other things to talk about, so it wasn't that awkward. I think it would be very different if we didn't have our 2 boys. So anyway, I am pleased that it wasn't as awkward or painful as I thought it might be. Plus, there was a third mom there too, with her son (also close in age to our boys), and she wasn't pregnant, so somehow that made me feel better.
So getting back to Joseph, I can't believe that it was one year ago today that I was holding a tiny newborn in my arms. We had no idea what to do with you, but we have figured it out, day by day! We love you so much!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE MAN!
Joseph one day old: