Sunday, 10 November 2013

10 months

Well, somehow I missed writing about 8 months and 9 months.  Time passes so quickly!  Joseph has been doing great and is now standing with support, and cruising around.  He also crawls around with ease now. 

He currently has a cold that has been lingering for over a week, which has been a bit troubling, but it is just a virus and needs to run its course.  We went on vacation and took Joseph to the doctor for a fever while there, and got it under control with a Tylenol suppository (he kept spitting out the liquid Tylenol we tried to give him).  He now has some pink bumps on his face and feet, so we are going to go to the doctor again to check on that.  I've been breastfeeding him often and I think he needs it with his sickness, so I've put off my plans to wean him.  I would like to wean him, though, so I can start back with fertility treatments.  I never thought it would be such an issue to stop breastfeeding, but Joseph is quite a fan of breastmilk, and I can't imagine soothing him without nursing him. 

Our vacation was in the Dominican Republic, and aside from Joseph being sick, it was a good trip.  Most of the time he was fine, after we got the fever down.  He has not had much of an appetite for solids, though.  Just lots of breastfeeding, which was fine with me. 

He had his first Hallowe'en also.  We had a little pumpkin costume for him, and also my friend got him a Batman shirt, so he had 2 costumes for the night.  We handed out candy, and then the next day we went on our trip. 

I've decided to extend my leave until September.  I went in and told my VP, and she was fine with it, but said to hand in my official papers later, so she can hire someone she has in mind.  Apparently if I hand in my notice too early it goes through a different process and it will be out of her hands who to hire.  The lady currently in for me can't stay on past January, unfortunately. 

I love how my life has changed since Joseph came along.  I am so much more social now than I was before, and I have made new friends with moms that have babies around the same age.  It has been ages since I made a new friend!  People just get set in their groups of friends, but with a new baby there is a window that opens up socially and people are looking to make connections.  I have made an effort to nurture the new mommy friendships I have made, and to meet up once a month or so with each one, to keep things going.  It is a huge contrast to the loneliness I felt during my infertility battle and grieving and loss time, which seems to have gone on forever.  It is just amazing how much better I feel these days. 

I have a friend who suffers from post-partum depression, and she goes to a support group for it.  I know it must be hard for her, and I feel bad that I can't really understand how she feels.  I understand how it feels to be really low, depressed, grieving, etc. but that is just not how I feel right now (thank goodness).  I find that I don't know what to say to her to lift her spirits.  I wish I knew what might be helpful for her, but I guess the best thing for her is to go to that support group and talk to others going through the same thing. 

On a similar vein, I have a friend, or perhaps I should say former friend, who has suffered losses and is now going through fertility treatments (IVF), and I know she struggles with me having a child now, while she is still waiting.  I really don't know what to say to her, and I know after being in her shoes it is just hard to face friends with babies when you are grieving your own babies and going through IF.  To be honest, she was never that close a friend, but we were brought together by facing a loss at the exact same time.  Inevitably, one of us would move out of that dark place before the other and in this case it was me, because I had Joseph.  I hope that she will also find her way out of that dark room that is IF.  But for now we are on opposite sides of a wall, it is unfortunate but I know trying to reach out to her will just be painful for her now, or at best will make her angry.  I just wait and hope for her, and offer her any help if she asks.  She did ask me some details about my IVF with PGS- what it was, why I did it, etc. so I told her.  I haven't heard from her since, so I'm not sure what that means.  But I heard that she is planning to do an IVF, and I know when I was going through it I wanted to keep it mostly to myself, because it was so stressful to have others waiting on your happy or disappointing news, I would rather just keep them in the dark until I felt ready to share.

Pretty soon Joseph will be 1!  I am looking forward to the next few months and watching Joseph develop and grow even more.  He makes sounds like "Ma-ma-mah", and other babbles.  He so desperately wants to walk.  His first steps will be an exciting time for us and for him.  He is so thrilled with standing and he is able to let go and stand on his own for 10-15 seconds. 

Here are some pictures!



  1. To wean, or not to wean, that is the question. I am debating whether my Sprout (13-month-old) is ready to give up BF to make way for a sibling. I don't know how I would comfort him or put him to bed without nursing! Plus, I guess I really still love it. Such a tough decision.

    1. I know! I never realized how hard it would be. I have tried an occasional bottle of formula and it does not comfort him the way breastfeeding does. I had plans to wean, but I can see now they will be way harder to execute than I realized. Ugh!! Plus, like you said, I actually really love the bond (amazing, since at first it hurt so much I never thought I would enjoy BFing) and I know I will grieve when it is over. I anticipate tears (mine and baby's), lots of screaming (baby) and guilty feelings (mine) when I do wean at some point.