My emotions have been all over the place this week as I have been waiting for my test day. Three more days. My feelings and level of optimism change hourly and my symptoms come and go. This morning I felt excited because I was feeling some small pains in my boobs and a sick feeling in my gut that reminded me of when I was pregnant last time. I thought this was a good sign that maybe I AM pregnant after all. But then I'm wondering if I'm not, and these are just teaser symptoms caused by the meds. That makes me angry to think that I am going along thinking these are good signs, and also how will I ever know next time what on earth is going on if I feel pregnant but am not, plus I know they put in healthy embryos from the PGS testing they did. What more can I DO to make this work??
Then later in the day those symptoms that I had earlier went away and I just felt some cramps. So that got my mood down low again. I know if I get a BFN it will be the most depressing blow ever, and I will just have my $16,000 period to look forward to (that's how much this cycle cost, including the PGS). And I have no embryos left so I will need to start over from scratch... plus my EDD for my angel is coming up in about 2 weeks, on March 4th... after that MOTHER'S DAY (ugh, ANOTHER Mother's Day without a child) and my 40th birthday on May 18... (shiver)
Maybe I will need to get an rx for some happy pills to get me through that string of events!!
Or a BFP, that would work too!!!!!! (no pressure!)