Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Cycle put on hold

Well, I just got a weird message from my clinic telling me to stop my meds and come back on Thursday.  Apparently my progesterone is way way too high and they didn't have the bloodwork results until AFTER I left and had taken probably $100 of stims already.  WTF?  My short cycle may be over already if the levels aren't good by Thursday.  The doctor hopes she can salvage the cycle though and carry on after that.  I can't believe this!!!  They also said in the message that my levels were so high, they wanted to know if I had actually continued taking progesterone after my BFN (I did not), and if so to call them.  They also said that they were going to redo a pregnancy test on my bloodwork just to double check that I'm not pregnant.  Can you imagine?  What if I was pregnant after all?  I don't think so, but why even give me that idea.  I'm definitely not pregnant now after the massive bleeding I have been having since yesterday, plus I went and did another HPT tonight just to make sure, and it was negative.  Maybe I SHOULD have tested early, maybe I had a chemical and didn't even know it?  Or I should have tested late after my BFN, maybe it was a late implantation and it didn't show up until later?  I don't think so, though, but what the hell, this is so annoying!  No wonder I had so many symptoms, because my progesterone has been through the roof.  My boobs are still sore, and I really could have sworn I was pregnant, I was so shocked to get my BFN.  I am disappointed that maybe I'll have to wait another month, and who knows then what problem might arise with something else that is not as it should be.  Just this morning the doctor was so positive because she said my ovaries had lots of small follicles and no lead follicle, which she said is good because then they will start growing at the same rate together.  Usually I have a cyst or two that throws things off a bit, but this time there were none.  But I guess the ONLY positive of having to start over in a month or so is that I'll have more time with the CoQ10. 

The doctor said the cycle failed probably because the embryos, although normal, were not of good quality due to age.  That was about it.  It is so f***g depressing, there is nothing I can do really, and I feel like my time is up and I've missed my opportunity.  It makes me so angry! 

I asked about doing a sonogram to check for scarring in my uterus after my d&c but she said we could do that but we would not be able to do an IVF that month then.  So I decided not to do it and to do the IVF since she thought the age thing was probably more of a reason than possible scarring.  But if we're not going to do an IVF anyway because of this progesterone issue, then I'll get it checked.  That could be one good outcome of a delayed cycle as well.  We should have done that in December when I was doing nothing. 

Well, that's it.  I can't believe that this morning I was 12 days away from a retrieval, and now a few short hours later my cycle is in limbo indefinitely!  I don't know what to hope for.  I want this cycle to work, so I don't want to go ahead on Thurs if there is even a slight problem with this progesterone BS.  Ugh, when will this end???

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