AF has finally appeared. On the one hand, of course I am disappointed that my chance for a natural miracle has eluded me, but really, who are we kidding? This cycle was super long, too. 44 days! I have never had a cycle so long. My cycles are normally 28 or 29 days, always! Maybe I am messed up since the termination, but it has been four months already. Who knows? I am actually glad to see AF at this point, because in the back of my mind I was wondering if this is some sort of early menopause going on, just to stick it to me further. Thanks, Mother Nature! I didn't go to the clinic this cycle, since they weren't going to do a transfer at Christmas I figured what's the point. I am so tired of going there. I'm just tired, period. But I'm going back tomorrow. Hopefully I will get started on my FET for this cycle.
I'm afraid to even get my hopes up, but I'm afraid to not hope either. I know that doesn't make any sense. I don't know what to feel.