Sunday, 27 December 2015

5 months old - Baby's first Christmas

Well, time is blazing on and aside from being tired, I am just loving being a mom of 2 boys.  I am thankful every day that I can hold them in my arms and smell their hair.  It's a dream come true. 
That being said, everyday life is sometimes a bummer, and our house is a real mess.  I stayed up super late last night putting it all in order, after the wreckage of Christmas with the wrappings and little bags full of whatever all over the place, and now it is a mess again, after one day of regular activity.  Argh!  I read an amazing book called "The Life changing magic of tidying up" by Marie Kondo, and I am totally inspired to clean up my whole house.  The basement is our biggest challenge since it is full of stuff that needs to be sorted and mostly discarded.  It's a huge job.  For now, I'm just worrying about keeping our living space organized (everywhere except the basement), which is quite a task since we have a LOT of toys.  Santa dropped off a huge load, as you can imagine, so finding a place to store all the new things has been challenging. 
Thomas is doing great, and is now 5 months old.  He is still topping the charts with weight and height and is just shy of 20 pounds now.  (19 lb, 11 oz).   I think the general plan is to double birth weight by 6 months, so he seems on track for that (born at 10 lb, 8oz.).    Joseph is doing well too, and is very excited about Christmas this year.  He is starting to be more of a handful by misbehaving (throwing things, running off) and I have had to implement some "time outs" recently.  I think they are working.  He is also getting a bit more pouty and jealous of things that others have.  It concerns me a bit and I worry that he is jealous about Thomas sometimes.  I hope they will be good brothers and be more friends than rivals.  I try to do what I can to encourage a positive relationship.
I went to a Donor Conception support group meeting and met with other families locally either in the process of pursuing donor conception or currently parenting.  I was really interested to connect with a few other parents who had older children, and are grappling with issues around "telling and talking".  It is something I will need to consider more in the future. 

Here are some pictures!



Trying some rice cereal

Christmas concert at Joseph's daycare


Monday, 5 October 2015

2 months old!

Thomas is already 2 months old!  I guess I didn't get into details about his birth story, but the basic gist of it is that we were waiting and waiting and waiting...  We got bumped numerous times and got into the OR 9, yes NINE hours after our scheduled time.  That wouldn't have been so bad except that I couldn't eat so I was STARVING.  My last food was 6:30am and then I had the surgery at almost midnight (11:40). After that, of course it took a few hours before I was supposed to eat, but I was so hungry I ate a sandwich about an hour after surgery.  I think Thomas was hungry too because he was NOT happy when he came out.  Well, fast forward to 2 months later, and he's a pretty chill little guy.  You know, most of the time...  He's still a newborn after all, so he has his daily fussy times too.  He sleeps pretty well, though, for a newborn.  I am getting used to his name and no longer spend time worrying about it not suiting him.  His looks are also changing, and he is smiling more, which is very gratifying.  His smile is wonderful, and he is making lots of noises like he's trying to talk.  It's really amazing.  I have started going to a few baby classes with him:  Lullabies and Laprhymes, Rainbow Songs, Baby massage...  This was the part I really enjoyed about Mat leave with Joseph, too.  What I like less is how behind in my own personal stuff I am getting (and can never catch up on) such as keeping the house organized, personal care like pedicures or massages, even shopping is difficult when you have a newborn in tow.  I have done a bit of online shopping to compensate from my lack of ability to go to many stores. 

  Just born!

Here's sweet Thomas at 1 month old.

2 months old!!

Visit to Whittam.ore's Farm


 His great new smile!!

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

He is here!

We had our baby by C-section on July 17th at 11:40pm.  He is a big boy, weighing 10 lb 8oz!  I found out at an u/s on July 15th that he was going to be about that size, and it was really upsetting since the OB said it would be likely that he would have a birth injury such as shoulders getting stuck/ going into distress, etc with a natural delivery.  Also, early labour had started a few times but never progressed enough to go to the hospital.  It seems the baby was too large to descend and put pressure on the cervix, to trigger the continuation of labour.  Anyway, we are glad he is here safely...  I have some mixed feelings about the fact that he has facial features that to me are clearly the donors.  Plus he has dark hair and Joseph is lighter, so people keep commenting on that, which annoys me.  And even his name, my husband pushed for one name and I wanted another, so we used the one he liked (Thomas) as the first name, and the one I liked (Samuel) as the middle name.  Now I wish we had talked about it more and switched the order of the names.  After so long in coming, you would think there would be enough time to figure out a name, but we felt so rushed.  So here is baby Thomas.  More about the birth and the first few weeks later!

Friday, 10 July 2015

39 weeks +3 days... no baby yet!

Ok, so I guess this baby is not coming early after all.  I was kind of hoping that because of his large size that he would be out by now...  I had a few prelabour signs, but now all is calm and aside from being really big, I feel nothing.  It's weird because yesterday I felt so much pressure, I was sure my water would break with one sudden movement (and it very well could have).  I have a bit of an inner conflict of wanting labour to start and NOT wanting it to start.  Every day I try to organize things around the house a little more, and I know when the baby comes that progress will stop and focus will be on baby.  The baby's room is still not set up, but at least all the construction and painting are done.  The closet is almost completely purged of the junk formerly stored there, and just the plates need to be put on the electrical outlets to finish the room off.  The furniture in the room consists of one dresser and one side table, so not exactly fully functional as a room.  We are still undecided on which chair to get, whether to get another change table or just try to reuse Joseph's (which he is still using), and we plan to put the crib in there but only once we get a toddler bed for Joseph, which we haven't done yet.  We could get that done this weekend if the baby doesn't come first... 
Anyway, we have the little bassinet set up in the bedroom, and the pack and play in the downstairs living room area, so I think we're ok even without a "nursery" for now.  One day it will get done and I'll post a picture.  I can only post the "before" picture now.  This was a few weeks ago:

So at least now the wall is back together and has been plastered and repainted.  Here is Joseph trying out the baby's bassinet.  I told him it was the baby's new bed.  He insisted on leaping into it, saying "No, this is Jojo's bed!"  Does he actually remember that he slept in this when he was a baby?

Some friends came by and dropped off a baby swing.  Joseph also has tried that out and wants to sit in it every day now.  He loves that thing!  Of course it is being pushed to the limit on the weigh restriction, and may break before the baby gets to use it.  He has figured out how to turn on the controls himself, with the lights, music, and swinging.  Here he is swinging, eating a bowl of dry cereal and watching his show on TV.  It's like a toddler's lazy boy chair. 
Now in the morning when he wakes up he even says "I want to go downstairs, I want to go in the swing!"  And he cries when we say that's enough, come to the table to eat.  I'm not sure we are going to be able to use this thing with the baby...

I am glad to be done work now, so I'm just getting antsy waiting for labour to start.  On Wednesday I had an OB appointment, and she said I was still at 1-2cm dilated (same as the check at week 38).  She did a membrane sweep.  After that I felt lots of pressure/ pain in cervix area, and as I said I thought maybe my water would break, but now a few days later I don't feel much at all. 

I guess a bit more waiting.  At least I finally got my hospital bag packed, after procrastinating about that. 

My mother left town as soon as my mother in law came back from her trip.  She was glad to be relieved of her duty as possible caregiver-on-call to watch Joseph in case I went into labour.  She is also left with looking after taking me off the title of her property, so I will not be implicated in her line of credit for the condo she purchased.  My cousin was in a situation that she was on the title of her mother's property, and they needed to sell to have money to put her in a retirement residence (a place where my mother SHOULD be going, but she chose this condo instead).  She did it in such a way that she did not have to pay capital gains since she was put on title for estate planning purposes only, and did not get any of the money from the sale.  Hopefully we can do the same, because the capital gains would be a killer for this property.  I told my mom to talk to my cousin's lawyer, but she wants to talk to her own first.  I am leaving this in her hands, I just don't want to think about it anymore. 
I guess another option would be to buy out my mom's half and take total ownership of the cottage.  But that would mean a big mortgage, plus my mom would probably not really move out and it would be hard to take over from her since she is so bossy, even if it said on paper that it was "our" cottage now.  And taking on that mortgage would mean we really could never move out of our small place in the city, because we would not be able to afford 2 mortgages. 
We would need a mortgage to upgrade our house to a larger one since we want to stay close to work, and the house prices are just crazy here.  I watch shows like "House Hunters" and think, wow, where are these people living that the houses are so cheap, and so nice!  The average house price in my neighbourhood is close to $1M.  And most of the houses are semi-detached.  A house a few doors down from us, that is several feet wider than our house and probably done up nicely inside, was listed at $999K and went for $1.2M.  That is $200K over asking!  So it is crazy here.  On the one hand we would like to sell first, to know what we could get and what our budget is for buying, but then when you go to buy there are bidding wars and "bully offers" (like the one on our street, we never even got to see it on the inside because it was sold a day after the sign went up, BEFORE they did an open house).  What if we sell our house and then lose every bidding war, or miss out on every house because of the crazy fast timing of these sales?  That is why we are kind of stuck here.  Buying a new place would be too stressful of a project right now.  Although the more we wait, the crazier the prices get, so that's something else to consider.  Luckily we bought this place 10 years ago, we would never be able to afford it now.  I don't know who will have the money to buy this place, it is not much house for your money, but the location is good in terms of school district, parks, restaurants, public transportation, proximity to downtown, etc.  It's amazing also how different this housing market is compared to the slow, slow, slow market up where my mother lives.  Like two different planets, really. 

So with thoughts of real estate and lines of credit pushed far to the back of my mind, I sit and wait for baby.  And keep cleaning/ tidying the house to keep myself busy.

Joseph has been going to daycare and they are doing lots of activities there.  That's good because he really tires me out.  He loves being outside and seems to want to run off on me when it is time to go home.  He thinks it's a fun game, and extra hilarious because I can't catch him since I'm too big to really run and/or pick him up. 

Here are some pictures of Joseph at his first Sportball/ soccer class last week. 

Hope everyone else is having a good July!